I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
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And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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