You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize