i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
"it" just moved
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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