During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
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Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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