But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
