So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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