i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
