Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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