do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize