i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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