I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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