I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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