They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
