she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
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He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
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If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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