Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
