This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
