Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
