period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize