He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
