Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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