how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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