I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
