i think i have two assholes
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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