how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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