She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
