i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
