Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
