I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
