Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Omg I joined a choir last night...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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