I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm at about main and main street
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
