....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
as a side note pls kill me
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
