ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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