Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
