I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
