I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize