My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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