I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
