The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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