If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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