she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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