ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
