I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Why are your pants in the freezer?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
