I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
