I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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