I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
