No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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