My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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