I think I am morally bankrupt
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
