She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
