I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I will be naked everywhere
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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