I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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