The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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