Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I have post one night stand depression
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