I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It's blow job season.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
