Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
