More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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