If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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