Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
