what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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