You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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