he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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