i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I believe in your delicious
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